I'm Adopted

Getting in Contact for the First Time

This is something that many people have asked me before. What was it like getting in touch with your Birth Parents the first time. The first time sending messages to them for me was nothing but nerves.

The first contact I had with my Birth Parents were through the phone and messages online. I got in touch with my Birth Mother Tatiana in Russia first. We agreed to then call each other. This would have been the first time of me getting in touch with her. I remember setting up the phone to call all the way to Russia from here. While it was going through I remember panicking and thinking that this is really happening.

What do you say first? This was something I would always think about. I didn’t know what I was going to say. What I was going to ask.

It was my Birth Mother’s Birthday on the day that I phoned her and so I did tell her Happy Birthday. She broke the ice a little bit when she told me that she wanted me to come to Russia as soon as possible. It wasn’t your normal conversation where you would talk all about your day and everything else. The phone call was quick but I did manage to find information on my Birth Father as my Birth Mother never told my Birth Father about me.

With me finding my Birth Father on Social Media I knew that it was going to be a different reaction. I managed to message him online letting him know that I was his son in New Zealand. I asked him what he knew of Tatiana and he just told me to slow down. I think he thought all of this might have been a big scam or someone just having a joke. I assured him that this wasn’t the case.

His reaction as soon as he knew what was going on was priceless. He wanted me to come to Russia as soon as I could and he wanted to Skype with me as much as I could. As you know I did eventually meet him at the end of 2013 for the first time.

My Phone call and Skype call were different for both Birth Parents. My Birth Mother took a while to open up while my Birth Father couldn’t stop asking questions the entire time. The first thing I asked him when I talked to him was ‘How Are You?’. – Alex Gilbert

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