Is It Too Late For Me To Search For My Birth Parents?

Adoptees search for their Birth Parents when they feel it is right. Is it too late for someone to Search for their Birth Parents? I get asked this alot. When you feel is right is when it is right. There are several reasons why I believe this.

Am I Emotionally Ready?

When I did my Search for my Birth Parents I was 21 years old. I knew for me that this was the time for me to look. I was ready for whatever was going to come my way. Good or Bad. I was prepared. I was excited at the same time but knew that I had to be prepared for anything.

When I did my Search back in 2009 I thought I was ready at the time, however I don’t think I was ready to do a Search. I couldn’t find anything online at the time and it was a struggle to cope with not finding anything. I wanted to make that connection but when you search and search and are unable to find anything, this can let you down. You need to be ready when you feel you are ready. Never let anyone pressure you into Searching for your Birth Parents.

What if my Birth Parents Passed Away?

Often some Adoptees fear that something may have happened to them if they think it is too late to search for them. Adoptees have been told news in the past that no adoptee wants to hear. It is hard to accept. When I mention that it is never too late is because you should do any searches when you are ready. I learnt that some of my Birth Mothers Family had already passed away however I found out some of the Extended Family which was still amazing for me to learn. If you learn some information on your Birth Parents that they may have passed away, you may still be able to get some new information on the Extended Family or even Birth Siblings. Never think that it is the end of the Search if you receive this information.

How will I know it is the right time to search?

As an Adoptee there is never a perfect time to search. But when you feel is right is when you feel is right.

- Alex Gilbert (Russian-NZ Adoptee)