Sweet Serenity

Calm. Peaceful. Untroubled.

What still seems like a fairy tale in my mere imagination, I attempt to convey this reality from my faded memory. I was initially guarded at the mention of you. Yet what was once the great divide of my own fear and love for you became the very thing that we shared in common whether you realized this or not. Chaos bore beauty in the making. What began as hours became days which turned into months of an experience I will always hold dear, though you may never recall. Welcoming you into my life when you were at an age that replicated my most vulnerable years developed into a complete embrace. Yet in the blink of an eye, all seemed lost when your presence was absent. No closure. As I experienced a familiar feeling of old, I walked into a new familiar. The very thing I feared deep down came to be. A reliving of what left scars on a wounded soul years ago that still remain healing. Many miles down the road, I felt as if I was running after what I could never grasp. So much left unsaid, but never undone. The silence of your absence magnified my internal cries. Every teardrop that fell from my eyes reflected your serenity. Oh how often I wish I had slowed down just to mirror your smile. If one day our paths cross, would I recognize you or would there be a discoloration of those ocean blue eyes and rose red cheeks that I knew of you? I pray you never let the sorrows of life rid you of your vibrant appeal. My loss was another’s gain; a reuniting of a broken family. I was forever changed when I realized that what once was will never be the same. Some call such times a defining moment. This was in fact my refining. The losses of life pale in comparison to the lessons learned from knowing you. Foster Care became more than a system in my eyes when you taught me what it truly means to foster CARE. In this I rest in peace, that my feelings are not fate. Sufficient is God’s grace through another day. I trust that He leads and never forsakes thee.